13dpo

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

So, here we are, on the eve of our "big" bloodwork. Peter and I both feel we are expecting baby #4 (and possibly #5, too). 8:30am tomorrow.... Eighteen and a half more hours to go...

Last night was a rough night. We cried and cried. I think a certain amount of time goes by and then you realize how severe your loss is. It was about the 3 month mark with our twins and yesterday, it was the three month mark with our cuddlebug. Oh, the tears. The hurt. The utter anguish. We just held each other and wept. We read through parts of Alexander's journal and cried some more. We watched a tiny candle flicker on the brownie his father bought to remember our son with after his special dinner and sobbed. And then, we felt that sense of peace and hope that he brought to us in his pregnancy and life. We wrote in his journal and then held each other as we fell asleep.

Thank you for remembering Alex with us. As long as we each remember each other's children, they will never be forgotten.

10 comments:

Bluebird said...

Will be thinking of you tomorrow. I'm just so sorry there has to be so much sorrow mixed with the joy that I know is to come. ((Hugs))

wereyoulookingforme said...

My fingers are crossed for you guys! I'm sorry this has been such a hard road for you and Peter. I am so glad you have each other to lean on.

I'm remembering Alex with you. And Nicholas and Sophia.

(hugs)

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

Thank you for updating us with your potentially wonderful news. Although, could you educate me (again) on the lingo (i.e., 13dpo)? I'm on a bit of a learning curve with the fertility vocabularly.

Alex, Sophia, and Nicholas continue to be in my prayers.

k@lakly said...

everything crossed! Post when you can!

Reba said...

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping for good news!

Cara said...

Waiting for your news! That grief - oh, how I know it. Glad you have each other to cling to. A single candle - I can just picture it.

xoxo

David & Alyssa's Mommy said...

I don't know how I am going to get through the day tomorrow waiting for your news, I am going out of town all day and won't be near the computer!

My thoughts and prayers will be with you and Peter though.

A n T said...

Good luck tomorrow! Cant wait to hear your update

Anonymous said...

Good Luck today Michele:)

mlg- believe N miracles said...

I am thinking of you! I know you heart is full of so much love and grief right now, and I know that you can make more room for hope.