Bedrest Mama

Friday, May 22, 2009

Here we are... Day 4 of bedrest. Other than some leg cramps and neck pain, things are going well. Thank goodness for my computer and the tv! ;)

So, I called Dr. Bailey yesterday morning. The bleeding was really freaking me out. To recap, I didnt really bleed in the hospital on Tuesday or Wednesday (just some light spotting). Thursday morning, I woke up and went to the bathroom to find blood on the toilet paper and a walnut size clot in the toilet. I tried not to freak out, but then, when I went to pee again- same thing: blood on the tp and a rectangular clot. Peter tried to assure me that it was probably fine, but to call Dr. Bailey if it didnt let up by lunchtime. After he went to work, I had to pee again (it's like an hourly occurrence) and, no clot, but still blood. I decided to consult Dr. Google. I searched for "bleeding after cerclage" and the first two hits seemed on point from the little blurb. Then, I clicked on them. They were both horror stories after cerclage. Not what I needed to read. One of them had clotting because the procedure had nicked her placenta. The clots were her placenta detaching! Freaked out, I called Dr. Bailey. I explained to the nurse what was going on and she told me Dr. B. would call me back, which he did, within 15 minutes.

He was very kind and explained that what I was going through sounded normal. That the bleeding was okay, as long as it wasnt really present while I was laying down and wasnt gushing. That small clots like mine were most likely blood pooling in the vagina and clotting, then releasing due to gravity and pressure when peeing. And what happened after I called? The bleeding stopped. Still no bleeding.

The kids have been on my mind a lot. Why didnt we have more time? Why didnt we have some sign of IC so that a cerclage might have looked like an option? WHY? I've really been letting myself grieve recently. There have been daily tears. I had forced myself to hide the pain when I worked and now, finally, I feel like I can be myself and let my feelings sit on the surface.

Nicholas. Sophia. Alexander. I love saying their names.

I had my first post-surgery visitor today and my second just called to ask if she could stop by. Glad I showered and put on my good PJs!

10 comments:

Katie said...

I'd love to stop by to see you sometime in the coming weeks. Let me know when it would be most helpful for you. I can bring a meal, clean, whatever you need.

Living With Loss said...

I'm so pleaaed that your Dr was able to reassure you that what you experienced is normal. And I'm really pleased you haven't had any more bleeding - keeping my fingers crossed it stays this way for you.

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

I'm glad you called your doctor and got some positive feedback. We can sit and question everything, so it's good to get the answer straight from your doctor.

I'm also glad you now have the time and space to grieve for Nicholas, Sophia, and Alexander. I hope you do lots of journaling during this time.

Peace, my friend.

Barefoot said...

Oh, gosh, the bleeding must have been so scary! I'm so glad to hear that things have slowed down (and also that the procedure went well to begin with).

It sounds strange to congratulate you on your grieving, but it sounds like you are in a good place, if that makes any sense.

Thinking of you and hoping the rest of your bedrest goes uneventfully!

Paula said...

Just wanted to let you know we're thinking of you. I wish we were closer so we could stop by and see you.

Cara said...

Nicholas, Sophia, Alexander. I love saying them too. Why is the circle of grief...hang in - praying.

Gannet Girl said...

Very beautiful names.

Busted Tube said...

Bleeding of any kind is scary for those of us who have had losses or early labors (or both). I'm so glad your doctor could reassure you and that it stopped. My thoughts are with you.

Simbelmyne said...

I'm very glad your doctor is taking you seriously and with reassurance.

Barb said...

Glad you're safe. Best wishes!