Day 3: T-21

Saturday, July 25, 2009

For my hospital posts, I will post the day of my stay (i.e. "day 3") and a countdown to the next goal (in this case, 21 days until 24w). As the goals change, the T- will change.

First and foremost, thank you for the prayers, comments, and emails. I havent felt much like posting or emailing since my first night here, but the overwhelming support is extremely helpful. I am also grateful for the former hospital bedrest mommies who have shared their successes, some of whom had to go into the hospital way before me and delivered near full term babies. Mentally, those stories give me strength and hope.

I will back up to Thursday to give some details. We had an 8:15 appt and it took over an hour to fully scan both babies, The report was great. Both measured between 20w5d and 22w, depending on measurements and were nearly a pound each! This was awesome news. Then we did a vag u/s. The stitch looked great and we were just about finished when the peri pushed on my belly. A slender ribbon of amniotic fluid came just below the cerclage. Most of it receded when he released, but some remained. He called Dr B, who told him to send us down. We arrived to a full waiting room but were seen immediately, and Dr B told us that he was sending us to L&D, most likely for the remainder of the pregnancy. I didnt cry until we got to the waiting room where one of the kind nurses was waiting to take us into the hospital proper. Seeing all the "normal" pregnant women who were discussing inductions and how they cant wait to deliver left me cold and heartbroken.

The kind nurse tried to reassure us as she took us to Antepartum and got us checked in. I was changed from my clothes into a gown and put in the inverted, Trendelenberg position. I was told that while I could roll to my sides and back, I was not to get up for anything, including the bathroom or to eat. They hooked me up to a contraction monitor and said they'd monitor me for any changes. After helping me use the bedpan, Peter had to leave for work.

For hours, I just laid in bed and watched the clouds move. I couldnt really do anything except worry and think, no... Peter's mom came in the afternoon and stayed with me until Peter returned around 6:30pm. While he was gone, I began having contractions regularly, about 15m apart. Dr B was called and prescribed Indocin. That settled them down and, when he came to see me before leaving for the day, he said that he expected to keep me on it for about a week before taking me off and seeing what happens. So, every 6 hours I take 25mg.

The admitting doctor was kind and told me to think positively. He also explained that, prior to 24w, there isnt a lot they can do for the babies. That the neonatologists will work to save them but that the odds are bad... less than 1% for both of them. (At 24w, the odds for both are 30%.) It was sobering to say the least. He stressed that the most important thing is to try and keep stabile.

Dr B came in the p.m. and told me that he had seen the u/s and was concerned. Typically, when he sees this, patients are 30-32w along so the risk of a micropreemie is passed and admittance usually allows them to 36-37w to get the stitch out and deliver. But the twins are putting double the stress and since 21w is about 29-30w single... You see the issue. His concern is not with the stitch itself (and even the peri commented on what a nice stitch it is), but rather with an infection due to membrane exposure. He wants me inverted until Monday for a repeat scan, with the hopes that the tiny amount of exposed bag has receded and that, due to the Indocin lessening some of the amniotic fluid (hence no long term use), there is less pressure on my cervix. I asked him if he thought we'd make it to the 24w threshhold and he said that, barring an infection leading to PROM, yes, 24w and beyond is possible. But that we are in a critical time. He was off for Fri-Sun and explained that Dr M, who covers his patients, would be around for any questions and that he would give her the number of where he'd be in case of an emergency.

Yesterday, we listened to the babies and Bobby gave the nurse a hard time first by not staying still and then by kicking the doppler whenever he had the chance. Dr M came in and I liked her. I can see why Dr B has her cover his patients when he's away. She sat on the edge of the bed and flipped through my chart. Maybe it is just me, but with our history I like an honest doc who doesnt sugar coat stuff. When she said, "Shit! You had one helluva year," I knew we'd be okay with her. After chuckling that the resident wrote poor obstetrics history on the admittance ("That's an understatement."), we discussed the plan for the weekend and how I was feeling. Like Dr B, her concern right now is PROM because at the first sign of fluid or bleeding, the stitch has to come out. Her research and lecturing is in PTL and PROM, so she was a wealth of knowledge. We discussed the positives and negatives of an FFN with twins and cerclage. While a negative would hold the diagnostic value regardless, there is a higher value of false positives due to the stitch (a foreign body offsets thbe results). So, she isnt against it, but said that with a 50% false positive rate for a patient in my condition, she's not sure the emotional impact is worth the possible negative result. So, we backburnered it for now. But she was really informative and I didnt feel rushed with asking her questions.

Late morning, a NICU nurse came and gave me some basic info. A neonate will come down once we hit viability to discuss issues. Dr M asked them to come now, but they wouldnt. The risk of loss is too high. She was ticked. Maybe because I've been here before, it didnt hit me as hard. I dont know...

Best friend S came over in the afternoon and brought a craft project to make the room more homey. I will post pics. We made little figures from pipe cleaners and she hung them from the ceiling. The kicker is a mobile with each of the kid's initials. It's over the bed and I love it. The images are very colorful and cheery, and my nurses have gotten a kick out of them.

The day was going well... until my contractions returned with a vengence. They werent painful- but they wer 4-8m apart. Bad. Dr M ordered a sugar water IV, thinking I was dehydrated- and she was right. They moved to 15 then 2o minutes before spacing way out. I didnt realize how much I hadnt been drinking until S asked me how many times I'd peed. Since 1am (and it was then 5pm), only 6 times, compared with home, where it is once and sometimes twice an hour. So... my nurse gave me a stern talking to about drinking water. I'm happy to report that today, I'm peeing a lot more. :) The IV ran all night and now I just have the hep-lock in.

My contractions have eased. I have them mostly when I am on my back. My sides are contraction free. And, they arent painful or causing bleeding, just worrisome. My weekday nurse was a sweetheart and discussed what they will and wont do for PTL this early. After Indocin, if my contractions continue and are not a result of dehydration, they normally move on to Procardia. That can be used for a longer period without the same risks to the babies. She said that the hospital does not use Magnesium Sulfate except to buy 48h for steroid injections at 24w and beyond. This early, there are birth defects associated with long term exposure and the hospital feels that the evidence against MagSulf outweighs its potential benefits. Honestly, I'm torn. I know the benefits and the risks were explained after Nicholas was born and they were trying to stabalize me with Sophia. But when you are weighing options... It is still hard. We are going to discuss this with Dr B when he returns to get his take. We trust him and know that he has our best interests at heart.

For the most part, things are going really well. Only one nurse rubbed me the wrong way (I asked her if my contractions were normal and she told me that for most women they are but for me, there was no way to know. She could have ended it there but instead added, "Not all pregnancies are meant to be." REALLY??? Take a look at that chart, sweetheart- I'm well aware.). But she was the fleeting exception. My nurses and the docs I've seen have been wonderful and supportive. They are all vocal about me being here for awhile and the babies being well taken care of in the NICU, etc. It's comforting.

Today has been a good day. Sporadic contractions on my back, none on my side. Dr M just came to check in and met Peter. It was a good consult.

I will try to keep up to date. Mentally, I'm telling myself this is no different than the last 11w; it's just a different location with more restrictions. But it's safer for Bobby and Maya. And they are what matters.

42 comments:

Alisha said...

Oh dear. I am sorry to read you are in the hospital, but glad @ the same time you are being well looked after. I pray they are able to keep you and the babies stable for A LONG TIME! Hang in there sister. You have alot of love here and people pulling for you.

dreamsandfalsealarms said...

Michele. What can I possibly say that could offer any where near the comfort you need at this time? I wish I knew. But you are in my heart and in my thoughts.

You should make a complaint about that nurse. That is absolutly cruel.

MFA Mama said...

Oh, honey. You poor thing. I was in L&D for a week at 23 weeks with a singleton and oh dear. That one hung in to 35w6d I am pleased to report (longer than his brother who came at 35w1d after a less complicated pregnancy three years before him). My third one, and the heaviest and longest of the three, I had to be induced at 38w even due to size concerns. You just never know what your body can manage. I've been thinking about you a lot. Hang in there!

Catherine W said...

I'm glad you've posted. I have been thinking of you and your family so, so much.

It is good to hear that Bobby and Maya are measuring nice and big for their dates. Nearly a pound each! I like the sound of Dr M.

I am hoping and praying that Bobby and Maya make it to 24 weeks and beyond. xx

Carrie said...

It is so wonderful to get a stable report from you! I have been thinking of you and the babies constantly and know you are in great hands. It sounds like you know what to expect and are prepared by your very caring staff at the hospital. That is such a gift!

Thinking of you, sending you many good thoughts. I just made a countdown chart to 24 weeks... maybe you could have a friend make a colorful one so you could see yourself getting closer (and beyond!) every day? Just a thought. BIG hugs!

Leanne said...

I found your blog from MckMama's prayer blog. I am praying for you and your precious children! Our God is sovereign, and is in the business of working miracles!

Prayers from GA,
Leanne Wilson

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

Oh, Michele. I wish I had more to say than "I'm praying for you." I think of you so much throughout the day and I pray that you and the babies remain safe and sound.

Peace, my friend.

Donna said...

I'm so glad your Dr's seem to being so much for you! I wish you didn't have to be going through so much but I'm so glad that you are in good hands. Thank you so much for keeping us updated!

Anne said...

I think of you alot and pray for you many times a day. I know the medical people are doing all they can to help you keep the babies inside longer and many people are praying for God to be with you, Peter, and the babies. Lots of hugs.

Lachlan's Mum said...

I'm so sorry that you have to be on such strict bedrest in the hospital, but so glad that everyone is doing everything they can to keep Robert and Maya safe. I'm thinking of you and hoping that you have many many more weeks there while your babies grow lovely and big. Boo for the nurse that wasn't nice, keep her away and ask for the nice ones. I believe in your pregnancy and babies, and am really hoping and wanting them to stay put, where they are warm and safe and happy!

Barefoot said...

Thank you so much for the update -- I've been thinking and worrying about you! I'm so glad to hear that things are stable, but so heartsick for you that you're in this situation. Please know that we're here rooting for you and Bobby and Maya.

Sophie said...

Thinking of you and your family. You're being so strong. You're amazing!

xx

nikki wood said...

Oh Michele, I haven't been on much I've been so busy and tired from work, and a lot of stress I need to blog about...my prayers are with you all...

SMK said...

My heart just breaks for you..... Thank god you are in a place where they can monitor you and it sounds like they are taking great care of you and the babies. I am so sorry you are going through all this.. I am always here if you need to chat or just want someone to talk about nonsense with. I am keeping u and Bobby & Maya in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us up to date in how u are doing I am sure I can speak for all of us when I say you are loved and in all our thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself.

Anonymous said...

Michele, your attitude is amazing. So glad you were able to post and I am thanking God that for today you're all OK! We'll continue to pray for more time in the womb for babies, and especially for a strong immune defense against anything that might cause problems. God bless, VERY MUCH!
Anna in CA

Reba said...

I'm so glad you posted! I'm keeping all of you in my thoughts. I know this isn't where you want to be, but I am so glad you're in the hospital where they can monitor everything so carefully. Stay strong! Stay put Bobby and Maya!

Seraphim said...

Michele and Peter, just know you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. One precious day at a time and please God all will be well. When you can, please keep us posted. This would be a good time to get on twitter xxxxx

sarah said...

one thing that helped me pass the time was making a paper chain out of colorful construction paper. have peter help you with that and have him take one link off every day till you hit 24 weeks then make another one till you hit 28 weeks etc. i am praying for you every day and look in to see how you are doing often. just look at it this way, once the babies are born, this will be your only free time till they are like 18 years old! all our thoughts and prayers.
love sarah

Just Breathe said...

I will continue to pray for you.
It is hard to believe that you have to lay in bed inverted. I pray for everything to say perfect until those adorable little ones are ready. God Bless You

mekate said...

Sweet Michele,
Thank you so much for your amazing update! And gosh darn, while I wish it were different, I am so glad you have such good doctors (i would like to kick that one nurse in the shin)--
I will be counting down for you-- 24 weeks first, then every week after--

I know you have a great medical team there (thankfully!)
And I will simply be praying and wishing and hoping for each day to pass without drama.

Books on tape? a language you've always wanted to learn? sudoku?

thinking of you,
xo
Kate

Bluebird said...

I am so proud of and impressed by you. You are so strong. I can't wait for you to have these babies in your arms, safe and sound (Okay, I can wait - I mean, several weeks I can wait!, you know what I mean :)) Thinking of you.

Terri said...

Hang in there girl. I have you on six different church prayer lists. I'm not done yet. Love You!

k@lakly said...

Thinking of you constantly and hoping mightily for many more weeks of time to grow big and strong for those babes.
xxoo

Glenda said...

Michele, I've been away from home and the computer since Thursday. I'm so sorry this is going on, but Praise God you have such a proactive doctor. You are getting the care that you, Bobby, and Maya need! Hang in there and we'll keep the prayers going. ~Glenda

dreamyouremine said...

Oh honey, you are in my prayers.

Annalien said...

O honey, hang in there! I have been worrying about you all week-end and was glad for the update that still radiates hope. I am praying for you and the babies constantly. You are in God's hands.

B said...

Sending love and prayers.

Grow you little precious ones. Go stitch. Go away germs.

Counting the days with you.

sending so much love
Barb

S said...

I'll be checking here for updates. So glad I checked today. I'm hoping that B&M are okay and that you make it to at least 24 weeks. Thinking of you every possible moment when I think of things outside my selfish little bubble.

Hang in there bobby and maya - just stay put babies. lots of love to you two and your parents.

Shal

momto558 said...

Sending prayers your way.Stay strong & believe:)Hugs,
Michele

Lorza said...

I am glad that you are hanging out well. I am glad you keeping your spirits up. Thank you for posting!! I am saying lots of prayers for Maya and Bobby!

Aunt Becky said...

Oh sweetie. I'm praying and praying and prayin.

Devon said...

Praying and thinking of you! We can do this!

Orodemniades said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Queenie. . . said...

One minute, one hour one day at a time, and eventually you'll make it there. It sounds like you are in the best of hands, and doing everything possible. What great dr's you have! You're in my thoughts and prayers.

May said...

It certainly sounds like you have some good doctors on your case!!

Can you use your hands much while inverted? I did a lot of sewing in the hospital but that may not be ideal for you. I second the books on tape suggestion above- you can probably order them from your library.

Hang in there!!

JenJen said...

I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this. I look on your sidebar of your blog and see little angel in heaven already, and pray that you won't have to feel that pain again.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and praying for you everyday.

Michelle said...

I am so sorry. This must be so scary for you. You are in the best place to help you and your babies. I am sending lots of prayers. I am thinking of you!

Sprogblogger said...

Thinking of you and hoping that the miserable bedrest lasts a very long time (and that it's not so miserable as all that.)

twoweekwait said...

I am reading this in absolute tears. You are so kind and supportive on my blog and I haven't stopped by in a awhile so I had no idea the difficulties you yourself are currently facing. You are truly one of the bravest people I know. And though we don't know one another I feel I know you because your words have comforted me on dark nights and because the fears you have break my heart. I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. I look up to you, thank you for sharing your story and your bravery.

You will be in my prayers. *hugs*

Seraphim said...

Michele just popping in to let you know I think of you and your babies often. Im praying for you. xxxx

Andie said...

Michele,
So glad to hear that things are going well even though this is a very difficult time for all of you.

I'll be checking in for updates.

That was great of your friend to bring a project for you :) Also wonderful to hear that 99% of the staff are wonderful and supportive.

Thinking of you
Andie