In the Mail

Thursday, July 9, 2009

So, this morning, I packed up a box... A baby bonnet... A toy... A time capsule for baby... Several baby outfits... A card... A gift card that I pray they will use for the necessessities they need after the baby is born... I wrapped the gifts and used the baby clothes as sort of packing to keep the box from shipping. I filled out the gift card (which Peter picked up yesterday and was very generous with, I was really impressed with my non-shopping husband who handled this for us) and put it in the card with a note to please wait and use it after their son arrives for things they find they need and dont have, and slipped it between gifts. The box is now taped and addressed to my mom, who will take it with her to the baby shower later this month. I hope that it is somewhat helpful to my brother and his girlfriend, but mostly for their son, who we have been remembering in our daily prayers. God, please watch over our nephew... Please let J & L step up to the plate to be better parents than they have been thus far... Please let this little boy be okay in spite of his in-utero situation... Please, please, please God- don't let this baby die.

I'm still angry about the situation. Mostly about how they continue to do nothing but think about themselves and not their son with their shoddy behavior during pregnancy. But, I'd be a liar if I said that it didnt burn me that with so many of us "good parents" who do everything right and suffering loss or multiple losses, that two immature, unthinking kids get knocked up, mistreat their bodies, and their pregnancy is going (I'm assuming from what I hear) A-OK. God willing, the baby WILL be okay in spite of that, but the situation burns me. And I'd be a bigger liar if I said that given our situation and my step-brother & sister-in-law's baby making struggles (they are a few years older than us, also happily married and settled), that the one who has no trouble at all is also the one who cant hold a job and doesnt take pregnancy seriously in the least. But none of that is the baby's fault. Not a cent of it. And, in my heart, I just want my nephew to be okay. And, as much as it hurt to pack the box together, it felt good to know that he will have some nice things and hope that those things will help him through his early times and let him know he has an aunt and uncle who love him very much.

The geneticist at the hospital lab just called with our final sequential screen results. Our risk of the babies having Downs Syndrome are 1 in 1200. Our risk of the babies having Spina Bifida or an open spinal cord is 1 in 2600. Our risk of the babies having Trisomy 18/Edwards Disease cannot be delivered because the blood test only works for singletons, however, using the results they do have and an educated guess, they have placed our risk at 1 in 3100. While we would love our babies no matter what those tests predicted, I am happy and prayerful that they came back as well as they did.

8 comments:

Just Breathe said...

Packing up the box was a very kind and generous thing to do. I pray that their baby will be loved and that they will step up to the plate. It just doesn't seem fair.

Busted Tube said...

Isn't it crazy that the ill-prepared, risky-behavior types are always wildly fertile? I wouldn't wish infertility on anyone, but it seems like maybe it is unfairly distributed...
Good for you for finding the strength to pack up the box! Wonderful news that your babies are so healthy :-)

Cara said...

You have such a kind, wide-open heart. The fact that you could do this speaks of it!

Our Journey... said...

That really was so nice of you and you are right, the baby doesn't deserve to be punished for their behavior.

So glad that your babies are doing well!

Demara said...

I can understand how that situation would bother you. It would me too! I mean I still don't understand why some become Mothers and some don't. All I can think of is that maybe those that are not "meant" to are "not" for a reason!! God's will is God's will and all I can do is trust that HE KNOWS best :)

momto558 said...

My mom took our 10 yr old to a carnivel the other night.She came in a few hrs later shaking her head.There was a 14 yr old there,pregnant & smoking to boot?After 24 yrs of being a chilcare provider,I've seen alot.I'll stick to my theory...you should have to take a test to become a parent.I think alot of people would fail it.I know we should never question God...but sometimes I wonder what he's thinking..lol:)

Becky said...

I totally understand your feeling this way. I miscarried my first, had a mini-stroke with my second (she is fine and healthy with no side-effects from that), and was on bed-rest for the last trimester of my third (after threatened-miscarriages with her, and them stopping her from coming too early multiple times, and an emergency c-section and her first few days in the NICU). They would not let us have more...said it was too risky and tied my tubes. I can't have any more. My can't-even-take-care-of-herself, 20 something, un-married sister is pregnant now and has an ex-boyfriend who is threatening to put her and all her nieces/nephews in the hospital for having the guts to leave him. It is hard to see people get pregnant when you can't. I am thankful for the two children I have living. And even for my son in heaven. But it is hard to see people who can't even take care of themselves or keep their rent paid, or their bodies to themselves get pregnant. I feel ya! Sorry that you have had such a hard road of it. I read your babies blog sideline and am glad for the minutes that you got to spend with each of them.

Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

Ugghh. Michele, you are so compassionate. I'm having a hard time with seeing young pregnant girls. One works at our local pharmacy and after one encounter with her, I now seek out a different cashier. Another is a family friend, who thankfully lives nearly two hours from here. She's twenty. Doesn't go to college. Isn't married. Lives at home. I don't want to overtake your blog with the whole saga. Suffice it to say that it's driving me nuts.

Peace, my friend.