Sunshiney Day

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The stroller is sitting pretty (still in the box) in my kitchen. Peter said that he's going to take it upstairs so it doesnt get knocked around at all. Hasn't decided whether or not to put it together. Other than the nursery furniture which is of course out and done, most stuff (like the pack-n-play) are still in the box. So, my guess is that it will stay there. After all, where would we really put it now? But it is cute. It's the Graco Duoglider in Brentwood. I love the color brown. :) Earthy colors, any and every one, actually. Brown is near the top... With green... But they didnt have a brown and green one, so brown and blue won!

I had a perfectly wonderful visit with my girlfriend, Katie, today. She is one of those friends that really "gets it", without needing to have a personal experience with it. I'm so lucky that our paths crossed. We have a lot in common and there is never a lull in the coversation. I can talk to her about anything and we can talk for hours. It was a great visit, and I was sad to see her leave. :( We aren't local to one another anymore, and only really see each other every few months. But she was sweet to take a day off from work to come and spend with me! It was lovely. (And I cant wait to enjoy the jambalaya and lemon bars!!! I am so excited!!!)

Peter is possibly going out with co-workers tonight to see Transformers 2. Several of his fellow scientists dig Transformers too (several of his fellow MALE coworkers) and they made arrangements. But one of them had to back out since it is his birthday and his wife wouldnt be so happy if he wasnt home, and the other one may have had an unexpected family visit tonight. So, if that is the case, they will reschedule. But, regardless, Sarah is coming over to hang out for the evening. So, while it is a busy visiting day for me, it's been really nice! Dont worry- I'm still in bed!

I'm trying to take a "screw you, cervix" approach today. It hurts and I'm ignoring it. I'm just letting it all relax, if that makes sense, and not focusing on the pain. I mean, let's face it, if it wants to fail and I am doing all that I can do to stop it, then it will either hold or fail. Obsessing- not going to help. At least giving it the middle finger makes me feel better. I focus on talking to the babies about how much we love them and how happy we are that they are with us today. That is the most important thing anyway, not this freaking pain. Why let that take my joy away? I've had enough worry for a lifetime- this isn't going to take away the joy I have today. As the sign in my high school gym used to read "It's mind over matter and if you dont mind, it dont matter." (I know, great grammer for high school...). So, I'm choosing not to mind. I tell myself every day that my cervix is closed and that the babies are fine. I hold my belly and vaginal area and send healing, warm thoughts. I pray that God will continue keeping me healthy for the sake of the babies and that my cervix will remain stitched together. Focusing on the negative possibilities wont help. That isnt to say the pain doesnt suck or hurt. And that, yes, I cry sometimes because it terrifies me. But, all in all, this isn't going to freaking win. It just wont. I wont let it...

7 comments:

Cafe mom friend said...

I just wanted to let you know that i have that stroller and it is AMAZING! its smooth driving and is just awesome. you picked a good one. i'm glad you are doing good. i keep you and your family in my prayers everynight. :)

Paula said...

Glad you had such a good day!

Busted Tube said...

Gorgeous stroller!
Is there anything the doctor can check or do for the pain you're feeling? It sounds like you're handling it all beautifully, but what a yucky way to be reminded of just exactly what could go wrong :-(
Sending lots of good thoughts to you & the babies!

Just Breathe said...

Praying for the positive energy to stay with you. I know you can do this.

May said...

FYI, you now have a random scientist in southern Cal chanting along: screw you, cervix!!!

mamaboop said...

Thata Girl! Go and make your cervix mad and maybe it will take a screw you too attititude! No. You tell it's a nice cervix, good cervix and how proud you are that what a good job it's doing this time cervix and maybe it will hang in there for you.

Just trying to help.
Nshville Mom
Love You Honey

Jenni said...

Oh sweetheart, I read and I cry for you. I pray every night that you will make it. Your family has gone thru so much and I just want you to have these little ones safe and in your arms. I love your attitude. You are doing great.