Day 36: T-2

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Thank you a million times over for the support and prayers. I feel so blessed by your compassion and your love for our family. Thank you.

Your prayers are working. Last night, during monitoring, Bobby's heartbeat went between 120s-190s. This morning, his HB was 130s-160s, with the majority 130s-150s. The arythmia is still very present; it is hard to hear the happy sound of Maya's normal heartbeat and then the irregular sounds of Bobby's. He sounds so labored. It just breaks my heart. But we are so grateful for the "normal" numbers. The SVT hasn't presented since Dr P did the u/s and monitoring. We are relieved that his heartbeat has not been over 200 in 2 days. We are praying that it never gets that high again. The nurses keep trying to reassure us that arythmias happen all the time and never lead anywhere, that it could totally fix itself before birth, that the medication can bring his HB back to regular beats... I dont think we will feel any sort of peace with the issue until Dr B, the Dupont fetal cardiologist, arrives on Monday and does the echo. If he says "Your son's heart looks perfect", I will be able to take a deep breath and believe that the arythmia isn't going to lead to his death in-utero and that this will either fix itself sometime between now and when he's born. But at this point, when a 28w delivery is still on the table, it is terrifying. I think that if his report is good, then we can look back at the 32-36w delivery. I am so hopeful for a good report. Please continue to pray that this is the case: that our little Maya continues to be safe and healthy and that our sweet boy has a perfect heart that is simply going through a growth spurt of some sort.

Peter and his scientific background have been a godsend right now. (For those who may not know, Peter's background is in biology and chemistry; he is a biochemist for a pharmaceutical company doing research. He will finish his Master's next spring (he's been going part time) in molecular biology.) As part of his coursework, he took a class on embryology, in which the fetal heart was discussed. He is handling the arythmia better than I am because of this, I think, and he helps to explain what the doctors are thinking to me, sometimes with visuals or just by using real world examples. I'm not a science person at all. I consider myself reasonably intelligent but I dont know how I would stay off the ledge if he werent here to talk me down. He was here on Tuesday (he basically got to work, I called, and he turned around and came back) and he stayed yesterday to talk to the doctors. He's taking Monday off so that he can be here for the echo and to interact with the doctors. I am so thankful. He has always put our family first and we are lucky that his company has always given him the leave to do that without any issue. When I read about people struggling with employment and insurance, it makes me all the more grateful that we are taken care of in this regard.

My blood sugar is all over the place. And I mean ALL over the place. For a few days (pre-propanolol), the diet worked to keep my blood sugar lower. But now... I am eating exactly the same thing and getting numbers everywhere, well over happy. I saw an endocrinologist yesterday and today, and I loved her. Just loved her! Dr Lee had always recommended that we see a "regular" endocrinologist in addition to her, to help manage the PCOS, and after a long consult with Dr Patel yesterday, she is our girl. Peter liked her too. So, post pregnancy, I will pick her up as part of my medical team. We discussed how she managed PCOS and I really liked her ideas. But, that is for the future... She came in to discuss the gestational diabetes. My A1C came back at 5.6, which she said is great. It shows that the diabetes is a recent issue and not something that was unchecked. That was great to hear. After yesterday and today's testings, the current plan is that I will get a slow moving dose of insulin before bed (after a blood sugar check). Then, in the morning, I will get a slow moving dose of insulin after my fasting blood sugar. Before breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I will get a blood sugar check, then a dose of emergency insulin (to counteract my food), then eat as soon after the injection as I can shove the first bite of food in. An hour after meals, another blood sugar check. So... if you count blood sugar sticks, that is 8 finger sticks. Every day. Yeah. It sucks. When they check on the side of the fingers, it doesnt hurt at all and my fingers dont bruise. The nurses who missed that memo and do the sticks on the inner part of the finger... those suck. My finger will hurt for an hour or so and then it feels sore. But, on a positive note, my fingers feel better than my arms and hands. Those IV sticks stay with you for days!

As much as I'm not thrilled about the constant blood letting, I dont want the babies to have ill effects from my blood sugar. And if it is the drugs that are bringing Bobby's heart rate into check, then getting 8 sticks a day for the next 10 weeks... I can do this. And I will do it gladly.

And speaking of... 10w to a full term delivery! I can barely believe that, starting Saturday, at 26w, we will begin a single digit week countdown! 9w6d... 9w5d... Wow... It's been such a long journey just to get here. To think about getting closer and closer, it brings tears to my eyes. Of course, we are still looking at our small goals.
2 days until 26w....
then 2w/14 days until 28w...
then our big jump: 4w/28 days until 32w!
and our final goal: 4w/28 days until 36w!
We will soon move from 4 goals down to 3 goals. Wow... Of course, each day is a goal and blessing but still... Just seeing it laid out this way when we've had so many goals set for us, is a great feeling.

And, as I am closing, some more news. My favorite Resident, Dr P, just came to see me... His rotation here is over... I am so sad! He will be in OB on nights for the month of September, but his next rotation is Oncology. I am just crushed that he is no longer in L&D. He said that he will be checking in on me regularly and that, if I feel concerned about anything, to let the nurses know and they will page him. What a sweet guy. I hugged him and thanked him for everything he has done for us. It was all I could do not to cry (damn pregnancy hormones...) as I wished him well. He is an outstanding doctor; I know that he will continue to grow in his work and become a great doctor outside of his residency. The compassion that he has shown me for the last 7 weeks... He will do very well in oncology, where those patients need a gentle hand, too. But how I will miss him... I will miss him so much.

On another note: it's been a year since this blog began, back on, August 25, 2008. A year, hundres of posts, and so many new friends. I wondered if I would make use of this space when I started. Now, I'm not sure what I would do without it. Or without you.

26 comments:

Anne said...

I was getting worried when you had a day between posts but glad to hear all is still ok. I think of you alot and pray for you and the babies alot too. Hugs, Anne.

Kate said...

I am in tears. I'm so happy Bobby's heart rate came down. You were in my prayers last night and I will include you in them every night until you deliver them healthy and happy. **HUGS**

It sounds like you've met some great doctors. I hope they will continue to be good and supportive and knowledgeble.

Much love and prayers your way my dear.

AKD said...

I'm so glad that you have such a wonderful plan, and such capable doctor. Prayers for you.

Sandy said...

I have been reading your blog over the last several months...I have prayed for you and your family often.
Perhaps you have heard already of a blog about a mom who's baby was diagnosed with SVT while she ws pregnant last year.
This is a link to her bloghttp://www.mycharmingkids.net/

She is an amazing mom, whose faith in God has helped her through an incredible journey. Her baby is adorable and proof that miracles can and do happen.

I enjoy reading your blog. Know that many people are praying for you, your husband and the babies.

Bluebird said...

You have had such incredible care. Add the doctors to the fact that you have a science man as a husband :) I'm so happy for you.

And thrilled beyond words that Bobby's heart rate hasn't skyrocketed again. Fingers crossed for Monday. . .

((Hugs))

Michelle said...

Happy Blogoversary!

I am so sorry about all the scary things that have been going on the last few days (weeks). You are so strong. I am glad things have gotten better. I am keeping you and those babies in my prayers!

Stay strong you are doing a GREAT JOB!!!

Muriel said...

I ahve been following you through your blog for many months. I am so glad to hear that Bobby's heart rate is better. I look for your posts every day ot make sure all of you are OK. Know that you are in my prayers. 26W here you come!!!

Just Breathe said...

Your posts are always full of so much news. I am happy that todays is full of good news. I can't believe how much the countdown has been moving. That is so wonderful, you just keep getting closer to those two cutie pies being born.
I am happy that Bobby is doing better today, I pray it continue that way. Sorry about the blood sugars, that really sucks. Sorry about Dr.P, he sounds like a wonderful person. Just what we like to see in a doctor. One year with your blog. Congratulations.
You are in my prayers and looking forward to more great news. Also, tell Peter hello and I'm so happy he is your husband.
Take care and God bless.

k@lakly said...

So glad today was a better day! Keep those good reports coming. And YAY for single digits:)
xxoo

sonja said...

I am so glad to hear Bobby's heart rate is down! I promise to keep praying hard for him and for all of you.

By the way, I continue to be impressed by how gracefully you are handling this incredibly difficult situation. Cheering you on to 28 weeks (and beyond!).

Molly said...

So glad to hear that Bobby's heart rate is down. I'm pulling for you to get to term! My prayers are with you guys.

Lorza said...

I am glad wee Bobby's heart is not going so pitter pat! That is a relief to hear. I am not a very good commenter lately, and I feel bad- you are always so great with yours. I am reading and praying for you guys.

Sounds like you are getting great medical care there! They are really on the ball with your sugars!

{{HUGS}}

Sprogblogger said...

So glad all is well. Fingers crossed that you're soon going to be counting down to a 38+ weeks delivery!

Busted Tube said...

I'm so glad Bobby's heart rate is staying away from the really high range. I hope that it evens out and stays strong & healthy! Looking forward to hearing more good news, but please know I'll be supporting you via blog through any news or developments that come your way. How brave you are about everything, but also the latest addition to your regime- 8 finger sticks a day!

B said...

Aaghhhh!

I just read your last post and then this one! Glad things are holding together - and that you two are as well.

Hope the arythmia has gone by the time the cardiologist sees it.

Hoping with you

Barb

Cassandra said...

Happy Blogoversary!

My boy and girl wave hello to your boy and girl, from my hospital bed to yours.

Barefoot said...

I'm so glad to hear that everything is OK.

Catherine W said...

I am so, so pleased that Bobby's heart rate has stabilized. I hope that the cardiologist has good news.

10w till term! That made me cry too. Hang on in there Bobby and Maya.

And so sorry to hear about Dr P, that can be so upsetting. One of my favourite doctors rotation ended a few weeks in to J's stay and I was so sad to see him leave. :(

Michelle said...

I wait for your blog everyday and try to catch it as soon as it comes out, which in our country's time is about 3am. Your family's journey is such an inspiration to read about. Saturday will be here in 5 hrs for us, so not long for you! early congrats for 26w and so very eagerly awaiting the healthy arrival of your Maya and Bobby.

Fran said...

I wanted to tahnk you so much for stopping by my blog, I am so so sorry for your losses and I'm praying for this preganancy to go to term and give you the joy you certainly deserve! By the way, my DH has the same cv as yours! Much love, Fran

S said...

SOOOO glad that things are going well with B&M, better with Bo and his HB! and hope that you get as close to that 10w full term countdown as possible. hope, hope, hope!!

Sending you big hugs... xx

cheryllookingforward said...

Hooray for Peter being such an awesome guy!

I know what you mean about this great community. I'd be a mess without it and you are one of the ones that has really helped me. Happy Blogoversary!

Leah said...

So happy that the heartbeat is sounding better! And how wonderful that your husband has such a scientific background. I don't have one, but my husband does, and it's always nice when he gives me his scientific meaning for things.

And congrats on being 10 weeks away! That seems so obtainable! Thinking of you!

KerryLee said...

I am so so happy that things are getting better. I am rooting for your family big time! The diabetes/lancets/insulin stuff is not fun, but you can do it. I had type 2 when I got pregnant and I was on a TON of insulin during my pregnancy. But my baby is healthy (just a bit bigger than most :).
Best of luck and prayers!!

sara (anthonys mom..with Alyson on the way) said...

I just read your blog ... I have to check my glucose before every meal and 2 hrs after ... I chose 2 hrs over 1 hr (I have to be 140 or below after 1hr and 120 or below after 2hrs) ... I also test throughout the day if I want to have a sweet snack .... I use insulin for every meal and my snacks! and I also use extended insulin at night to get me through the 8-10 hrs of "fasting"...and my fasting # (in the morning) is usually anywhere between 80-98 ....
its no fun .. but VERY much worth the health of my Alybear.... as you know, the safety of our babies is #1!!!

Lachlan's Mum said...

I'm so glad that Bobby's heart is doing better. Sending good thoughts to you, Peter, Bobby and Maya.