Day 49: T-3

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Here we are... another end of a decade of days in the hospital. Day 49... 8w3d to go... 59 days to go. Wow. Tomorrow I'll be in the 50s for the count up and the count down! What will happen when those numbers reverse and suddenly I've been here longer than I have to go?

I am getting to the point where I am believing I will be here for those 59 days. That these babies will be full term. Almost like I have to ask myself "Is it possible that I could have full term, healthy babies?" For so long, I've felt "no". That no matter what, they'd be born early. But now, there is a little voice that whispers "you can do it..." Perhaps it is all your voices, joining together across the miles and sending support.

I was monitored for 2 hours today. Maya averaged in the 140s but went down into the 130s and up into the high 150s. She was showing her reactivity very well! Bobby was mostly in the 70s and would move into a normal range for a few seconds and then back down. Only one period of a longer session of higher heartbeats this time. He dipped into the 60s a few times. This is why I was on so long. They wanted to keep watching him. I think he was rolling and either hit his cord or the monitor was wrong (because the sound didnt change from the high 70s down to those mid-high 60s) and that was giving momentary lapses. It only happened a couple of times, maybe three times?, for a few seconds (less than 4 or 5). (Honestly, I think the nurses would leave me on the monitor 24/7 if they could and will use whatever reasons they can to keep me on it). So, around noon, the Resident came in and did the BPP with the CRNP. He scored 8/8. So, once again, he's doing perfectly fine and it is we, on the outside, that are more worried than he is. As much as I dont like hearing the arrhythmia and listening to the slower, ventricular rate is nerve wracking, I know he is fine. He looks great on ultrasound every single time we see him, which is every day. And Bobby is not a shy mover. He is always active. If I didnt have that (from either he or Maya), I would probably be a nutcase, but at this point, this is his M.O. and I am trying not to stress about it and just hope and pray he grows out of it sooner rather than later.

My blood sugar is pretty much in control for the late night-late afternoon but, no matter what, my post dinner sugars are always high. This, apparently, is the opposite of most folks, who have their roughest time after breakfast. So, they are slowly upping my insulin in the evenings to combat this. Hopefully, this will do it! Right now, I'm at:
8 units of slow acting (pre-breakfast)
10 units of fast acting (pre-breakfast)
17 units of fast acting (pre-lunch)
25 units of fast acting (pre-dinner)
22 units of slow acting (bedtime)
(82 units total)
Dr B estimated that I would be around 100 by the time this is all said and done, so we will see. My morning fastings have been 100 for the last few days and they are still trying to get it under 90, so I figure that my slow acting bedtime dose will be raised a bit (tonight they are checking me at 2am to make sure that I'm not bottoming out in the middle of the night; I'm not sure if they are upping me tonight or waiting to do it tomorrow after seeing my middle of the night sugars). I'm still holding out hope that we get this squared away by Friday. I'd love to be completely fine by 28w on.

I find that I am struggling with not only passing my own milestones but also the milestones of other orphaned parents out there, especially twin moms. Have other parents (of multiples or singles) felt this way?

My dinner is done and it is time to lay down again. I cherish eating sitting up and dont want to take "too long" and undo my hardwork on bedrest. :)

24 comments:

Jessica said...

I do count down the days with you as well as other twin mommies and even triplet mommies. I think about you everyday and pray that we will have our babies at the same time since we are only 5 days apart! :)

Michelle said...

Nice to hear it's another routine day...so can we have more photos now?? hahaha...I love your belly shots! They're like my children I just want to see them all the time!

Just Breathe said...

Everything is sounding pretty good.
I pray for Bobby's HB to be healed soon. So where do the sugars come into place, is that due to being pregnant or have you had this problem before? (I guess I haven't been paying attention) The weeks are flying by and that is the most important part. (FULL TERM) I am praying each and every day for all of you. Take Care.

AKD said...

I'm not a multiples mommy, but even just at two months, I've found that the milestones are so hard. My husband doesn't find them as monumental as I do, but they're very big to me. I find myself crying over and thinking about others who are going through those milestones, as well.

You're an amazingly generous spirit, Michele. Hang in there - I pray that you DO have those full-term babies! I have faith you will!

Busted Tube said...

Nice to hear a stable report. I keep hoping that Bobby's heart will just get back to normal, but I'm glad that it has remained stable.
Your poor fingers must be so bruised by now with all the blood sugar tests!

Jessica said...

I can imagine your disbelief in going to term after what you have been through, but leave your faith in God and he will do the rest. Sending Hugs and prayers for your babies to go full term. :)

Sprogblogger said...

So glad that everyone's doing so well. I can't imagine how stir crazy you must be getting, all I can think of is how wonderful it is that you all have done so well so far. Can't wait til you have less time to go than you've put in. That will be the beginning of a really fun countdown. Thinking of you, pulling for you all to get through this perfectly healthy, perfectly perfect. Be well.

Reba said...

i did find that i put a lot of stock into other people's milestones. hearing that someone else had passed one gave me hope for myself. finding out bad news made me certain the same was in store for me.

isn't "full term" the greatest phrase ever?? i remember well the day when i realized i might make that goal (with ONE! i am such a pessimist) and i did make it...by one day, but whatever! ;)

Alyssa said...

WOW this sounds (sort of) just like me. I was just admitted to the hospital yesterday for high A1C's. My bad sugar level times are in the morning. They're monitoring me realllly closely. Had to be pricked every hr for the last 24 hours. So many tests! Tonight, though, I get to sleep, and they'll only wake me up once (at 3 am) to make sure I'm not low, just like you said.

Anyways, good luck!

Krystal said...

You really can do this!!!

You are doing so awesome!

And although I dont personally know you, I know you thru your blog, and some of the greatest people I know I people I dont know in person!

You are such and inspiration to me!

Wow, Im just in awe with your strangth!!!

Much love,
Krystal
TTM (tap that mom)

ezra'smommy said...

You've come so amazingly far! Go Bobby and Maya! And hooray for Michele!

Donna said...

I count the days to your milestones right along with you!

You are doing great work!!! I know it is so difficult to be away from home for so long but you are doing amazingly well. You have made such great progress and those babies are growwing like crazy.

Missing Kasey said...

You can do it!! FULL TERM!!!!!!!!!

Mile stones are hard... they tear me apart some days :(

Golden-Green said...

I am so thankful that you are doing so well! I just caught up on your blog. I am praying for a full term and two healthy, happy babies! Hang in there!

heather said...

Michele - I am rooting so hard for these babies to make it to full-term!

Btw, the first song on your playlist is beautiful...

Judy Brown said...

Hey hon, just wanted you to know that Aunt Judy and Uncle Chris are keeping up with you two and the little ones. Our prayers are with you. We love you all.

Anonymous said...

Where r u? Is everything OK today? i follow your blog every day and today nothing?Me and my girlies are praying all is well and if your just taking a well deserved rest have a peaceful night!!GOD BLESS YOU AND THOSE BABES U HAVE WORKED SOOOO HARD FOR!!! IM A MOMMA OF 7 PREEMIES AND ONE ON WAY HOPEFULLY A TERMIE THIS TIME!!!

Anonymous said...

Hope everything is going okay. And so proud of you for keeping such a positive outlook through out. I know you have some days that you feel blah but you are doing great. Hoping no update today means you had a boring day.

bankshot said...

I just have to say Hooray!! tomorrow will be 28 wks for the both of us, and I am so glad to hear that you are doing well...even despite the setbacks. You remain in good spirits, most of the time, which i don't think I could do if I were in your position. You are great inspiration to many out there!! Cheers to healthy full term babies!!

from my baby girls Brisa & Zephira to you blessed babies, Bobby & Maya!! MUAH!!

much luv and prayers, yer preggo twin! ~Michelle

Queenie. . . said...

Okay, you haven't posted in two days, and now I'm delurking to say I'm worried about you. I hope everything is okay.

projectkjetil said...

You're doing an awesome job, and you CAN do it! I'll be cheering for all of you.

Carrie said...

Update? I worry when I don't hear...

Busted Tube said...

I keep checking in on you and haven't seen an update in a few days! I hope you and the babies are doing well.

Jennifer Jayhawk said...

I have become completely wrapped up in your story. I hope all is ok. I'm praying for your family.