What's the Reason???

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

A dear friend of mine lost her first child to an ectopic pregnancy around the same time that Nicholas and Sophia were born (Nick was Feb 1st, her baby was Feb 14th, and Sophie was Feb 16th).  She got pregnant again and lost her second baby right before I had my second miscarriage; they had seen the heartbeat and the baby died soon after.  It was horrible.  Then she got pregnant a month after I conceived Alexander.  She went on to deliver a healthy baby girl, full term.  I remember her visiting me when I was in the hospital with Alex, and then how heartbroken she was to do one of the readings at his memorial service, while she was radiant with pregnancy.  At her baby shower, I had just conceived Bobby & Maya.  Needless to say, we are close and have been through hell together.  She is a dear friend (and Maya's godmother), so you can imagine my immense joy when she texted me a positive pregnancy test after a few months of BFNs.

And then today's text...  The heartbreaking news that this baby, in spite of doubling betas, is ectopic.

I know we often search for meaning.  For the "why" in our bad news and heartbreaks.  But really... Why?  It's hard enough to lose one child- regardless of gestation- but then to lose a second, and now a third.  She and her husband are such loving parents...  It's so heart wrenching.  And what makes it worse is that I cant help.  I cant take away the pain or help her dreams of another baby in her arms come true.  I can only send her love and tell her we are keeping her family close to our hearts.  It's simply so unfair!

11 comments:

Rachell said...

There are just some things we will never understand this side of Heaven. Child loss and infertility tops the list for me. I am so sorry. Saying a prayer for her today.

Just Breathe said...

I am so sorry for her loss. I will keep her in my prayers. If you want to send her a handkerchief let me know.

one-hit_wonder said...

nothing related to babyloss makes any sense but that goes without saying. :(

Trennia said...

I am so sorry to hear this,please know I am praying for them.

heathermohr said...

I'm just so sorry for your friend's loss...for all 3 of them. (((hugs))) to her...

heathermohr said...

I'm just so sorry for your friend's loss...for all 3 of them. (((hugs))) to her...

Christy said...

I just don't know.
I just don't understand.
I just will never know or understand.
:(
thinking of your friend
and of your babies, all of them, always
xoxo

sonja said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I will pray for your friend for some measure of peace. =(

Sophie said...

I'm so sorry. I don't think there could possibly be a reason. Not one worth so much pain. Sending many hugs for her and for you.
xx

Girl in the dark said...

I am so sorry for your friend. Losing a baby just doesn't make sense. I don't think we can ever understand why.

AKD said...

I am so, so sorry. What sad, unnecessary heartache. Love to you all.