What Was To Come

Friday, November 19, 2010

Two years ago, I had just left yoga...  Just like now (although this isn't prenatal, it's Ashtanga).

Two years ago, I had come home, expecting a nice evening with my husband... Just like now (and add Bobby & Maya to the mix.)

Two years ago, my world fell apart for the third time that year, when I saw blood and knew that my pregnancy with Alexander was compromised.  We rushed to the hospital, where I was admitted.

Two years ago, tonight.

And, now, it starts the spiral of all that was and was to come.  All that I was prepared for and yet, could never be prepared for.  The conversations of "if" and "hopefully" and "we want to do this if he comes "too" early"...  Conversations no parent should have, especially more than once.  The start of "been there, done that, and this is what we want to do different."  It all started tonight... Two years ago...  Such a short time in the grand scheme of things, and such a long time: 730 days...17,520 hours... 1,051,200 minutes... 63,072,000 seconds.    A huge amount, when you look at Alexander's life on earth as a mere 300 seconds.  But they were beautiful seconds.  Beautiful ones.

So, here we go... The two year countdown to his two year birthday.

6 comments:

sonja said...

Thinking of you and your sweet Alexander.

Ms. J said...

sending you lots of love, and sending up prayers for God to hold your heart tightly in the coming days...just as He is holding your perfect Alexander, until the days you hold him again.

AKD said...

Oh, Michele. I wish you never had to have those conversations. Thinking of you.

Reba said...

remembering along with you

(((hugs)))

Catherine W said...

Thinking of you and your family, especially your beautiful Alexander. xo

Holly said...

I'll be thinking of you and Alexander