An Extra Special Gift

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Well, it's Mother's Day here in the States...  Happy Mother's Day: hold the babies in your arms tight and keep the ones you are missing in your hearts.

We're going to the 7:30 Mass and will sell roses afterwards for the Respect Life group...  Then we have dinner plans at a place near our old house.  It will be nice.  Gifts and cards are done...  I have a cute dress... Maya has a cuter dress...  Hopefully, I'll get in my 11 mile run...  It'll be a good day.

But, at the same time, it's missing something.  It will always be missing several little someones to share the day with.  Kids to struggle with making breakfast in bed.  Babies who give mama "flowers" from the weed garden.  Laughs and snuggles and jumping on the bed by a multitude of little feet.  I'd have a beautiful bouquet of a dozen roses if I had one for each child I've had the privilege of being mother to.

Well, 13 actually...

Because, I have a secret.  (And it's not what you think.)

I thought that holding out on blogging about G's short pregnancy was tough, but this has actually been tougher.  Long sigh, fear fluttering in my chest.  We will (hopefully? most likely? maybe?) have a baby in this house at the end of June.  Oh my goodness... I've said it.  We are adopting a precious baby boy who is due to be born at the end of June!!!

A baby.  A baby boy.  Due to be born by planned c-section at the end of June.  Less than 2 months from now.

I tell myself that there is no chance for my heart.  This all started a week ago (so I havent been holding out on you that long), when we were told that we had been chosen to be this baby's forever family.  Sunday night, I knew that I loved this baby already.  When I met the birthmother the following day, I knew that my heart was already in this growing baby's hands.  I knew.  And, just as I know that pregnancy doesnt equal live baby at the end of the journey, I know that the adoption process doesnt equal baby in your arms either.  After 2 failed attempts at it (although none this close), I do know that.

And yet, we plan...  I gave away nursery items after we had decided to no longer pursue fertility treatments and rather to adopt older children when Bobby and Maya were older.  Some friends with little ones still have items (as well as their own) that they are willing to give back to me now that their kids are outgrowing (or lend to me things that they got on their own).  Which is a godsend.  I've already looked into fitting a third carseat into the middle row of my XC90.  I've looked on Craigslist.  I bought a complete nursery pattern- blues and yellows and greens with farm animals- from a local woman... a single snap-and-go from another... a pack-n-play from another.  I still have one of my moby's and my shoulder sling...  We've converted a section of our bedroom into a nursery space...  7 or 8 weeks...  Enough time to get the things we know we needed with Bobby and Maya... To prepare ourselves...  Our home... Our family...

We told our moms right away.  They, as expected, are thrilled.  Scared about the chances of loss, too, but happy for a new grandson to their broods.  And now, there is the waiting... The hoping... The fear...  The love...  As we are now rushing through getting stuff squared away for our homestudy this week, we've decided it's time to let the cat out of the bag.  If it all goes well, great!  And, if it doesn't, we'll need the support when we crash.

We are choosing to think positively and to try to have as much hope as we can that things will work out.  We love this child; we believe we will bring him home and be able to love him forever.  That's all we can do right now.  We have pictured kissing his forehead, snuggling him to sleep, and have whispered his name.

Today, if you would, please lift up a prayer on behalf of our new, sweet son, Michael Dimitri.  While we hope that Michael's home will be with us, we are more concerned that- whatever the journey- it be the one that is right for him.  Hold his birthmother in your thoughts too.  While she has committed herself to adoption because she believes this is the best choice for this precious child, I know that her heart has to be hurting too.  As a dear friend of mine (who is an adoptive mom) said, you cant believe this was "meant" to happen... That your child was meant to suffer the loss of their biological family or that their biological family was meant to have the pain of losing a child, so that your family could gain a son/daughter.  No, we are lucky- extremely so- to be their forever families, but that family is built on tears and agony, and we can never forget the great sacrifice that has been made for the life of that special, wonderful child.

For sure, on this Mother's Day, I've received quite a special gift as we continue our countdown towards meeting our newest addition.

27 comments:

Jenni said...

I am so excited for you Michele! Oh I so hope it all goes smoothly!
I am in the process of giving away all my baby things, and I wonder if perhaps I can send any of it to you. I have a moby that's been loved through two babies but still has lots of life in it (it's light green). Would you be interested? I want to pass it along to someone who will give it a lot of use. :) I actually have a couple of wraps I made too--one is solarveil which is SO nice in the heat of summer (but I never use it now that we're in Alaska). That one is yellow. Would you like them?
Do you need clothing too? I have given a lot to my sister but there were a few things I kept holding on to...but I am accepting that I won't be using them again, and they should go where they will be used. I have three boys, so everything I have is boy stuff.

sprogblogger said...

Oh Michele! I am so excited for you, so hopeful that this works out with much joy for you and as little anguish as possible for this little boy's first family. What wonderful news!

Paula said...

I'm SO excited for you!!! That is wonderful news!

sonja said...

Huge hugs, Michele! I am already getting stuff together for you. Last week of May works fine, I will get back to you on the exact days that work tomorrow.

So excited!! Praying hard!

Sophie said...

So excited for you! Wow! Just wow! Happy mothers Day. It's mothers day here in Aus as well. :) xx

Heather said...

I am so excited for you! You are such an amazing mother, and I truly hope you have your baby boy home with you by the end of June!! =)

Tina said...

Oh Michelle! How wonderful! I know it must be scary, but I think choosing to stay positive and believe it will happen is a great thing. Sending you ands ALL of your love today and everyday.

MrsSpock said...

What wonderful news!

Malory said...

Sooooo happy for you!

Trennia said...

That is wonderful news!
Happy Mother's Day!
and yes I will keep the birthmother in my prayers and your family , God bless you.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I have chills all over and tears in my eyes. This is beautiful news and I can't be happier for you and Peter. Sending prayer to God.

Angela said...

Wonderful news and just the perfect day for it! Praying all goes smoothly.

kcoleman said...

Happy Mother's Day to you!
What an amazing new adventure for your family! I will keep you all in my prayers.

Barbara said...

Wow. Michelle!

What wonderful news, I hope it all goes smoothly.

xxx

aka the Mom said...

Oh my gosh! So hopeful and excited for you.

St Michael, pray for us.

Catherine W said...

Oh Michele. I am so very happy to read your news and you and your whole family, especially Michael Dimitri, will be in my thoughts and prayers alongside his birthmother. xo

Stace said...

Amazing... just amazing! Hoping and praying for a little boy in your arms come June.

Anna said...

Congratulations! That is so great- super exciting news!

Karen Mele said...

Congratulations!!! I hope that you end up with a beautiful baby in June!!!

one-hit_wonder said...

How AWESOME, Michelle!!!!!!!!!!! Prayers coming. Will you please post what you need? I'm getting rid of baby stuff - all in great shape - and I want to send some your way!

Oh, I'm so happy for you. I want to adopt, too, and this story makes me feel that desire even more strongly.

Baby Smiling In Back Seat said...

What thrilling news! Best of luck with everything, to everyone involved.

greeneyes said...

it is so wonderful to know... i have always prayed for little babies for you and here comes one on the way. Bless you and may your household be filled with laughter and joy...

cheryllookingforward said...

Congratulations, Michele!! This is wonderful news. Michael is a lucky little boy. I will keep you guys in my thoughts as June arrives!

Michelle said...

Many many congratulations Michele & family! I'm so happy & excited for you!

Amy MEV said...

In your spare time (ha ha!), let us know when you have completed that baby registry on Amazon! I'd love to send Michael a little something, as soon as he is yours for sure. I cannot imagine how much your heads are spinning right now!

Oh, and I made 15 weeks!!!

Leah said...

Happy belated Mother's Day, and what a wonderful surprise you just shared with all of us!

Praying for you guys, that you and the birthmom have peace. How exciting. :)

Holly said...

Simply wonderful. I will say a prayer that everything will go through and he will get to come home and be with you. And also for his birthmom b/c I'm sure it hurts to let go of her child.